Doing the wrong thing for the right reason.

Posted by Beth Dylan on Jul 31, 2008 in Blog, Introspection | 3 comments

I can’t remember if I’ve been capitalizing every word in the title, so bear with me if you’re the type that loves stylistic consistancy.

You know how Robin Hood steals from the rich to give to the poor? Well even though he knows stealing is wrong, he thinks it’s the right thing to do to take from the affluent and give to the destitute. He’s breaking the law, but he’s doing it because he believes it’s just.

Now I’m not saying I’m a vigilante crime-fighter, or even that I think Robin Hood had the right idea, but what I am saying is… Well I guess what I’m saying is that I’m sorry and I’m not sorry.

I’m sorry for not posting in so long, but I’m also not sorry because I had my reasons. Granted, my reasons may sound like excuses– and they might in fact be–, but they are my reasons nonetheless. I think that I procrastinated in order to make sure that only my best effort and most focused attention would be given to the job. Most days I would think “I ought to make that post I’ve been meaning to post for a long time…” and I’d jot down my ideas on little post-its and put ‘em in my pockets. Or I’d open up a tab in my browser here so that whenever I was online I’d see it and be reminded to update. But I never forgot. I saw it every day. But I kept thinking “…It’s not the right time…” and skipped it another day.

And then I just decided to update when I got home from vacation, which was last night around 1am. The very fact that I was on vacation might have been enough to excuse me had I not made my last post while in the middle of relaxing. But then I might say the person I was staying with while on vacation, (who will be henceforth referred to as) My Beloved, got sick and I had to be a good girlfriend and provide care, but all that caring didn’t stop me from playing countless hours of World of Warcraft. So then I might instead say that I got sick myself and couldn’t be bothered to task myself so much by crafting some gem of a blog entry, but My Beloved and I still carried on with most of our plans which included going to the zoo and out to eat, among other things.

I was not unlike the kid who begged her parents for a fish. I promised I’d feed it, and clean its bowl, and pay it lots of attention if I got one. Well I got my fish, and while it’s being fed enough to stay alive, it’s bowl is an algae-ridden mess. I really wanted a website of my very own, and although it never fell to the wayside, it hasn’t been given the attention it deserved (if inanimate and intangible things have rights, that is).

But here I am, back at home, coughing incessantly and typity-typing away for your enjoyment. In the future I promise to keep my bowl cleaner, especially since I plan on having company. Or letting my fish have company. I’m not sure how to correctly word that last sentence when keeping with the fishbowl metaphor.

Maybe I’ll get one of those little crustacean things like Jacques from Finding Nemo and won’t even have to clean the bowl myself.