How to be cool: Lesson 1
About two weeks ago I lost a dear friend of mine. I’d only known her a year, but I had many good memories with her. She took me to places near and far, and always came home with me after I was done. Julie died in my driveway, never to start again. My cute little ’96 Plymouth Neon had only been mine for a year and she died. When I tell people this, I am often asked what was wrong with my car, to which I can only reply “Uh, lots of stuff… Head gasket… Er…”
I don’t know anything about cars, at least not in the way that people who know about cars know about cars. I know that the metal thingy goes into the slot near the steering wheel and then you turn it. I know that on cars where there’s a do-hickey between the front seats you gotta push down on this pedal before you can slide the do-hickey into its proper place. I know how to pop the hood and how to clamp the jumper cables onto my battery when I forget to turn the lights off and my car won’t start.
That’s about it.
Last weekend, I had the pleasure of listening in on a conversation purely to hear the words. It was very much like listening to speakers of another language just because it’s different and fun. The guys at my unit were talking about cars, boats, planes, submarines, helicopters, and so on. I found this to be tremendously cool. Unfortunately for me, I have no interest in any of these things. I don’t desire to know what the Navy’s budget for the new aircraft carrier is, how many people are needed to man it, how many planes it can hold, and how it can land a C130 on it (C-130? C1-30? I don’t even know that!). I don’t feel it’s necessary that I know which car company is buying which, nor do I have any reason to find out how fast the new submarine can go without making bubbles (and I can’t remember the technical term for “making bubbles” either).
If were to impress you by saying “I’m going to supe up my turbocharger and install a V8 hemi to go along with my 22cc NOS uptake valve”, I would be extremely pleased to find someone who is more clueless about cars than I am. And then I would have to turn and leave, because I find feigned awe and badly camoflagued ignorance to be rather unattractive.
There are people out there who are very mechanically inclined, but I’m just not one of them. I’m not even theoretically mechanically inclined. Right now, I’m inclined at about a 87 degree angle (sitting upright but slightly slouched). I wish I knew about cars and crap like that, but I probably never will. That’s why I have other people know it for me.
People that know that stuff for me are cool.
September 15th, 2008 at 2:28 am
I’ll know weather for you!
September 15th, 2008 at 4:55 am
I know very little about cars also. I know where to put various coolants and fluids, how to change oil, and how to change a tire. But I also know that without and air wrench you’re not changing a tire on the highway by yourself, so I also know how to call AAA.
September 20th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Like the relationship between non-dairy creamer and microwaves, cars are one of the great mysteries of the universe to me too. But hey, random Japan knowlege? I’ve got ya covered! I’m all over it for you.