tittytangents.com

I hope you’re sitting down. I have some big news. I, your humble tangenteer, have a confession to make.

I saw Twilight: Eclipse. And by and large, I thought it was a pretty decent movie.

But this post isn’t going to be about why I saw this film or what my critiques of it are (although originally, that’s exactly what this was going to be). This post is going to be about a very important choice I made while watching the Twilight movies.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the fandom and its factions, I’ll simply say that for the most part, lovers of the books and movies generally fall into one of two categories: Team Edward or Team Jacob. Edward is the fugly vampire (sorry, Nonroot. It’s the truth!) and Jacob is the super-gorgeous werewolf. And Bella is the little trollop who has her hands in both of the monster cookie-jars. To choose a team is to say “She should be with THAT guy!”

Much to my best friend’s Cullen-lovin’ dismay, she and I are in opposite camps. I find myself squarely situated on Team Jacob. And while watching the movie, I found myself confused as to why one guy seemed better than the other.

After much thought, I decided that it wasn’t that Jacob had something spectacular to offer her (besides his astonishingly chiseled abdominal muscles), but that Edward’s relationship had something really shitty to offer: immortality.

Who the hell would choose immortality? Where’s the excitement in forever? Where’s the romance? The beauty? At least for me, the lack of a reasonable answer to any of these questions is why I think the best chance Bella has at a good life is with the mortal dude. Yeah, he’s a werewolf and that’s kinda strange, but at least he’s got a normal lifespan.

For the purpose of this Tangent, I’m going to focus on the question of beauty and immortality.

I purchased a book recently that contains single words in other languages that are not directly translatable into English. In the section for words pertaining to love and beauty, I came across a word that absolutely nails down my entire beef regarding the lack of beauty in neverending life: Aware (ah-WAH-ray). It’s a Japanese word that, more or less, describes the feelings of love, appreciation, and sadness upon seeing something beautiful that you know won’t last. Anybody who has been given a flower from someone they love knows about aware. Anybody who is fortunate enough to see the leaves change colors in autumn does too. And anybody who has washed their car only to see it covered in bird shit the next day understands it very well. In our mortal lives, aware is something to be found everywhere, because everything that lives must eventually die. And people are no exception.

With every passing moment in our lives, we are closer to dying. And I don’t mean that in a morbid, depressing way. It’s just how it is. We are fragile, vulnerable beings, us living things. But that’s what makes us beautiful. When we are adults we can look back on our childhoods and remember how carefree and full of wonder we were. When we’re middle-aged we can look back on our twenties and remember what it was like to be just starting our independent lives. And when we’re in our old age, we can remember it all and appreciate what we’ve had. That’s aware. It’s recognition of something incredible and wonderful and beautiful. It’s recognition of something that is fleeting and impermanent. It’s recognition that we should treasure life because, above all, it doesn’t last. It’s an aspect of life that we can all share. Immortality would deny us the experience of aware.

Beauty isn’t just pretty pictures and flowers. It’s also about joy and sorrow. About fulfillment and bereavement. It’s about the calm and the chaos. There are many kinds of beauty, but all of them are vital to a complete life. To miss out on even one of its aspects would be tragic.

After reading all that, would you choose immortal life? Do you think you could possibly appreciate every moment you have if you knew you had an infinite amount? Would you want to be unable to truly feel the aware in wilting flowers and aging bodies? I’m almost sorry to say it, but to be on Team Edward is to essentially answer “yes” to all these questions and more. How sad.

So join Team Jacob. Sure, that means we think Bella should ditch the vampire and get with the werewolf, but at least we know what’s beautiful.